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ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.I no longer. As we approached the table, the host was going to help with Jenn's chair. "I'll take care of that - thank you!" The host smiled and left. I slid the chair under Jenn ass with great timing. She was seated, turned her face to me, and said, "I feel like a Queen!" "It's only the beginning, My Dear!"The server came, greeted us, said "Happy Birthday" to Jenn, and took orders. When he got the orders, I pulled him close and whispered "Thanks for the birthday thing. Your stock just went up. Bring her anything she wants - I don't want any screw-ups!" He nodded, smiled, and whispered, "Everything will be perfect!"The drinks came, interrupting my concentration on Jenn, and our conversation. I raised my glass and turned to the guest around us. "Please drink to this incredible young woman who is celebrating a birthday today!" The toast was so touching, Jenn blushed. The people around us not only toasted, they sang "Happy Birthday!" We ordered dinner, and she took me up on the "anything she wants".
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