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But I wasn't ready to let go of the idea just yet. One night, after I'd brought it up yet again, she asked how it would even work. I remember excitedly thinking that she was beginning to come around to the whole idea. There were hundreds of ways we could make it happen, I told her. We could sign up to a swingers' website, we could take out an ad online, we could go to the pub and get drunk and just blurt it out to someone...It was obvious I'd thought about it a few times. It had, in fact, become something of an obsession. Harriet simply shook her head, like a patient teacher talking to a slow child. "There's no way we could do it without putting ourselves in serious danger. We wouldn't know who the guy was, what he was capable of. Anything could happen."It was a fair point, and one I should have accepted. Instead, I sulked."Are you saying the idea doesn't turn you on at all?" I finally asked, desperately. "No," she responded. "I'm sure it would be a huge turn on, very exciting. But. Together you used to experiment and explore your sexuality but you haven't seen her in years. You don't know what to expect but the anticipation of seeing her is making your heart thump every time someone walks through the door. You feel on edge and jumpy. Will there be a chemistry between you or will you have both moved on? Will it be awkward? Will you chat like the good friends you used to be? and will you end up back in her flat? A man walks though the door he's tall, fit, late 20s and he has a presence. You are immediately attracted to him and can't help but look him up and down. He notices and winks, you feel shamed but turned on. Embarrassed that he caught you lusting at him but turned on by the thought of his domination of you. He goes over to a table opposite yours to sit with one other man and two attractive women probably in their early thirties. He kisses them both and they look delighted to see him. 'Is one of those his girlfriend?' you wonder. You flush as you start to.
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