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”I thought, ‘What the fuck?’ I said then, “If you’ll do anything,” she was nodding her head yes, I said, “Then get the fuck out of my car and never speak to me again!”She stopped, “Michael?”“Go find Tommy Sheldon, or whoever you last fucked. Fuck everybody at Lowes, but just get the fuck out of my God damn car!”She leaped back and away, “Michael you don’t ... you can’t...”I yelled at the top of my lungs, “Get the fuck out of my car!”She got out and I burned up the street getting away from her. I found an older friend. He bought me fifth of Jack Daniels and I proceeded to get as drunk as I could. I realized what I’d done. I’d done the one stupidest thing no guy should ever do. I’d saved the stupid whoring bitch for somebody else. All those God damned times we were so close and I pulled back because she’d whimper or say something. Good old fucking Tommy Sheldon never pulled back. No sir! And I bet a dozen other guys never pulled back either! I was one stupid moron. Never again. I’d. Tears flowed onto her pillow. She had not slept a wink all night. Her mind was going a mile a minute all night long. And she cried and cried. Thoughts had raced through her troubled mind all night. She knew Joel hadn't really raped her and she was ashamed that she'd blamed him that way. Also she knew that the sex they had was wonderful. Joel had given Janie her first orgasm, other than by her own fingers. With Hank, more often than not, he'd come home from the bar drunk, and wake her up by lying on top of her and trying to shove his weak hardon into her dry pussy. Then he'd berate her for being frigid. Other times, when she'd try to refuse his drunken advances, he'd accuse her of fucking other men, and even of being a whore. Always it was her fault, never Hank's. Well, now she knew she'd never go back to him. Her thoughts rambled on like this for what seemed like hours, then she finally, after an hour of crying, fell into a deep, dreamy sleep.In Janie's dream she could see two lovers.
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