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I felt Beth's overwhelming presencedrifting through my memory, recalling all the days I stared at Susan cominghome next door and wishing I could wear those sexy outfits. Beth made methink about that, about all the times I wanted to wear heels... Her voice wassoothing and compelling, and part of me felt those thin straps tugging aroundmy feet.No! I wanted to respond, fighting against that nagging voice in my head. Inever wanted to wear heels...Until Beth told me I did; I never wanted to wearthem, didn't I? NO! I couldn't remember, but I could remember. I couldremember wanting to dress up like a woman, wanting to wear Susan's sexyoutfits. No. I never wanted that... it was like I was drowning in the luststhat I never had. Don't you want to wear Lila's heels, Beth's voice whisperedin my mind? No... I don't want to wear Lila's high heels. NO!Beth and Lila looked at me, and my embarrassment grew when I realized I hadshouted out, "No!" I didn't even know what they were talking about. Like. Like you painted the version you’d see if you were just remembering it in a dream. And I’m not even stoned.”She laughed at that. More of a giggle, really. I joined in as I rolled the truck over the bridge, stopping again, midpoint, so she could enjoy the sight of the water flowing lazily past heather and rowan that lined the banks.“It’s so peaceful. No wonder you moved here.”“One of the reasons,” I agreed.That’s how we spent the day. Me showing her the sites, her asking questions or just commenting or sometimes just quietly enjoying the view. It was nice. Comfortable. Mostly, I tried not to think… dirty thoughts. She made it difficult not to. Not because of anything she did, really. Just because of how she looked. Yes, I can be a pig at times so sue me. At least, I kept my mouth shut. As for Summer, she was enjoying herself and I found myself enjoying her enjoyment. We’d stopped several times, getting out so she could wander around while I took photos. Not of her. Not that I wasn’t.
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