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I’ve moved on too. But I’ve never moved past the memories, and I wonder whether you, despite your silence for nearly two years, ever draw on those memories and allow them to come to the surface. Or perhaps they are buried so deeply, that it is as though I never existed in your life. Memories. That’s what I am going through today. On that anniversary of our last time. And instead of dwelling on the loss of love, I’ve been trying to remember where we fucked. Different places that all had meaning at the time. Sometimes the meaning was simply that we were both horny and we just fucked where we were. Sometimes the meaning was that we knew we would be together and the time was planned and special. Every time we fucked – all those times were special. To me, at least. I remember the first time. In your basement. One week after we first crossed the line into intimacy, emotional at least but ending in a hug, and in that ensuing week we exchanged many words and made many plans, until it was. I assured her that I would be true to my beliefs and to my family… but I only half believed the words coming out of my mouth. I liked the physical feelings that Scott gave me and I wanted to explore that more but my parents made me feel guilty about it. Always relating every situation to the church and religion. I had always wondered why they put so much pressure on me regarding this because it just made me want to never tell them anything about my life. I did not want to have this happen every time I found something that brought me happiness in life. That was the last time I took any boy home and the last time I had even led on that I was seeing anyone or even interested. For the next month Scott and I would grow even closer and as much as I like kissing him, I want more even though I had no idea what ‘more’ meant. One night, after having gone to a nearby lake for swimming and a picnic, we decide to have sex for the first time. Neither of our parents would be happy with what we.
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