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The soft fabric I felt against my skin and lightly tentedpanties reminded me that I was wearing a nightie, and as I realized whatday it was, I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly in fear, excitement,and anxiety, but I couldn't place whether it was fear about today andexcitement that my ordeal was over, or excitement about today and fearabout what came next.The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said. Her hair was rolled into a bun over each earrather like the princess in Star Wars. She rose and I noticed that shehad a bad limp as she did so, but she welcomed me graciously and offeredme a seat."I suspect that you have lost yourself, don't worry it is easily done,you are by no means the first. Now do tell me about yourself, why youare you in Slovenia."Natasha who left the room, returned with a tray laden with all the usualEnglish tea things. The Countess poured the tea herself though Natashapassed it to me with a small plate of cakes. Actually though the cup wasvery delicate china, the tea was pretty foul but out of courtesy I feltthat I should drink it. We chatted for a while more, but after somepleasantries I said that I really should be on my way, so I stood up toleave and blanked out completely. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I woke with splitting head ache, cold and aware of a strong chemicalsmell and slowly a sat up under the glare of a.
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