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You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the truth of his words and it was like he had run me through with a sword. I was speechless. It took me a couple of days to process what he had told me. He was in fact, correct. In my heart, I had killed God. Nobody is home or on the throne.It’s a liberating, yet lonely thought. All my life, I have been told of a loving Father which is an image I clung to as I never had one. The Christian faith is burned deep into my soul/mind and even though I have no “faith” I still find comfort in it’s familiarity. I’m also Heathen and find comfort in the sagas of my ancestors and the images of Freyja, sweet Sunna, and Hel. The Disir I adore. What’s interesting is faith or no faith I’m observant. “What do you suggest then?” Belinda giggled. “I suggest that the loser offers her backside up to the winner and gets it spanked. How does that sound?” Before Claire could answer, Belinda reached forward and took a card from the deck. She turned it over slowly and placed it on the smooth mahogany surface of the table. It was the four of hearts. “Not great!” she giggled as she took the bottle of wine beside her. She reached across the table and filled Claire’s glass. Her little black dress was cut low, and she revealed a deep cleavage to Claire each time she did this. Claire could not help but stare and she fought hard against the sexual attraction that grew within her. She felt tipsy and it made the battle all the harder. Why not surrender to the feelings, she thought. Why not let Belinda have her way? Claire reached forward for a card. She turned the edge of one card and looked up at Belinda who remained leaning over the table towards her. She bit her lip in a concerned frown as.
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