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She knew what we were doing in that studio out back. She knew what those men were doing to me, and she got off on it. I find that so hard to accept." We all put on faces, Mom. You did with me and Dad." That's true, but nothing like Mom did with me. She really had me fooled. She had everybody fooled." Yeah, but won't it be good to put that lie to rest, clear the air between you." Yes, I suppose, but I feel like I am meeting her for the first time. Suppose I don't like the real her. I might hate my real mother. That is so sad to think about." I don't think you'll hate her. I don't think she is all that different than she is now. Her true self is a whole bunch of good and a smidgen of bad. You, of all people, should relate to that." What do you mean?" You should know how sexual compulsions can drive you to do things against your ordinary nature. Is what your mom did any worse than pimping your fifteen-year-old daughter to your best friend just so she'll let you watch people fucking." I. Where were you? Is everything o.k.’ ‘I can explain that later Paul. Things are not o.k. I need you to quietly and very discretely come over to my house and come in the back door. Do not turn on any lights. In fact, I remember that you had been a green beret, use your old skills as you come over. In case you are seen you might even want to come armed. You can’t be seen, for your own sake.’ ‘O.k. John, I can be there in half an hour. Is there anything that I need to bring?’ ‘Yes Paul, be praying on your way over for the Lord’s covering and protection. Paul, you were in Nam. You have seen things for real that civilians haven’t seen in their worst nightmares. Be prepared for a shock.’ ‘John, how much of a shock should I expect?’ ‘Well, you might consider the effect that the Resurrection had on the first disciples.’ His voice took on a grim businesslike tone, ‘I’ll be there John.’ The line went dead. Paul and I had been through the same hell during our tours in Nam. Paul was made of good.
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