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Istarted to check out the men in the magazines and the movies. Did I findthem attractive? Could I have a relationship with a man?The turning point was when I was watching one particular movie with Sally,for training purposes. It was a classic high school melodrama with thegood-looking dweeb chasing (and ultimately winning) the cheerleader awayfrom the jock. I suppose I looked at the dweeb and wondered whether Icould ever have him make love to me as a woman, but when the jock took offhis shirt and smiled at the cheerleader I felt something unmistakable. Itwas pure womanly lust - my first experience of it. I told Sally which ofthe two men I would prefer in my bed. She laughed ... and agreed.For me the remarkable thing was not that I had apparently switched sexualpreference - the truth is I was still not sure that I had - it was that theman I preferred was so dominant. It made me feel even more feminine andeven submissive. The sexual partner that my body seemed to respond. Deirdre and I basically closed the doors to the master suite and spent an entire week alone. Our days and nights were spent doing nothing but loving each other and refusing to allow anyone, or anything to distract us. Deirdre seemed not to be as all in on our relationship as I was, which was my first clue that something was wrong.“Terry...” Deirdre was nervous about whatever was coming. We were riding out among the crops on a Honda Pioneer, four-seat, ATV. The lands were large enough that it took most of the day to fully circumnavigate the property. Deirdre has been just a bit off sine I got home. There was something coming and it felt a lot like the days before Andrea sent me away from her family, in Texas.“Terry, Darling ... I love you like anything ... I do. But while you were away I had way too much time to think and I am going to accept a marriage proposal from the oldest son of Lord Winterbourne. George is nearly my age and has two children by his late wife. He has wanted to be.
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