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When I looked back at Amanda, I saw Jem behind her trying really hard not to laugh.“Seems a bit quiet though. Not much to say. Good, I like the strong silent type. He’ll do.”She turned and strode from the room, stopping at the doorway to turn around and point at me. “Have a big meal this evening, you’re going to need the energy. Oh, and drink plenty of fluids. And not the alcoholic type. Chio!”Emily looked at me and shrugged. “Sorry. I tried to stop her but...”“You better go after her before she tracks down some of the other freshers,” said Jem. “I’m pretty sure she’ll think one or two would qualify as more gorgeous than Paul here, and they’re probably not as well suited to dealing with her as he is.”Emily rolled her eyes but trotted after her friend. As soon as she was out of the room, Jem held his stomach and laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d seen in ages.“You know,” said Mark, “I reckon someone’s bed is going to get well and truly christened tonight.”“You think,” said. It was humiliating. The housekeeper produced a small, dark, lacquered box that contained the device that she had to lock around Harold’s cock. He had been forced to wear this whenever her Ladyship was not around, ever since his wife had discovered a cartomancer who claimed to predict exactly where in her cycle her Ladyship would be most likely to conceive a girl. It would prevent, she said “unnecessary dilution of such fertility as may be needed at the critical moment.”Now their sex lives were ruled by the fall of tarot cards. The empress, the sun and the three of cups, showed that her Ladyship. was fertile; the ace of cups that she would give birth to a girl. The combination of all cards drawn together would mean that Harold could expect a strenuous evening’s sexual activity and his member had better be ready for it. It was surprising how often the Tarot fell that way. He was begin to suspect from the cartomancer’s sniggers at the sessions that she insisted he attend with his wife.
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