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I didn’t think anybody would have believed me anyway. I should have told Mrs. Sanders, but I was scared that he might hurt her, too.”Susie paused to catch her breath and set herself free from the horrid memories even though for only a moment. Her account of the dreadful events left me speechless, angry, yet humbled.“I’ve told you the facts,” she said. “Now, I’ll tell you the feelings.“There were rules; rules that I didn’t like; rules that I felt other kids didn’t have to obey. But, I had to if I didn’t want to get yelled at, humiliated, and get beat on my naked butt. I had to find a way to survive and get through it alone. After the first couple of times he forced me to make him ejaculate, I convinced myself that it didn’t happen. I chose to bury it, put it out of my mind, and never say a word.“It was the everyday, constant darkness of being fence in with no place to go that was the most difficult. It was the feeling of living a meaningless life, and knowing your body, mind, and soul. I cried for several minutes leaving some roses at the site then leaving I was crushed what it was that day that held her back from wanting me to love her I didn't understand. I went on with my college time soon earning my degree in writing and making high honors. I now had my dream job in journalism and wrote stories of interest for my local paper but I still couldn't quit thinking of Jaime my friend and could have been girlfriend.That was when I started my bouts of drinking and drugs. After a number of years I was living in the streets with nowhere to go. My parents disowned me and I was a worthless junkie, a kind lady found me one night on her back porch and took me in. Within months I was on my way to recovery and back in my home town trying to find a job.The job search paid off after a few weeks and I landed a job writing for another local paper, it didn't pay as much as my last job but was a way to finance an apartment with the help of a few college buddies who needed a third on.
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