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Santa barely finished delivering all the Christmas presents because I was almost arrested for, believe it or not, attempted sexual assault. Just to be clear here, that didn't happen. For all you ladies out there, it's Christmas Eve. You've got to know there's going to be a man coming down your chimney. Not only was this woman naked, she was sleeping under the Christmas tree. I mean, how does this not smell like a set up? Now Santa will admit to taking pictures, available on my website by the way, but in no way, shape or form, did Santa ever touch her." The police officer actually believed me, but even so, Santa had to do some heavy negotiating to keep from getting arrested. By the way, Tom in Oklahoma, I appologize for the condition of the sex doll I brought you. That police officer was determined to get his money's worth. I was surprised it was still in one piece after he was done with it. The poor fella seemed like he hadn't had any in years." So anyway, enough about my. As I walked downthe isle I found the Hanes underwear display and looked at the prices,but right next to it was a pyramid style display of novelty panties. Asale sign hung over the top that said 3 pair for $4.99. It was thebest deal in the area. I started to pick through them feeling dirty,like at any moment someone was going to ask me to leave for being apervert. The panties were supposed to be arranged by size, but theywere all mixed up. I found several different styles of underwear.Just because a pair of panties was bikini or thong cut did not meanthey were the same. The straps that hugged the waist could be part ofthe material that made up the front or it could just be a piece ofelastic string. The amount of material and the thickness of thematerial in the front varied from pair to pair. Some of the pantieswere see through and did not look to offer any protection against leaksat all. The boy cut style looked like they were designed to cram asmuch fabric up a girls ass.
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