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” Louise revealed my dreams more than my weaknesses. The gossipers around the Court thought my weaknesses were women and frivolity. My dream was to do something worthwhile and to have female support in that activity. My wife was incapable of any portion of that.Forster returned and was quite unhappy. He asked if there was a responsible individual with whom he might speak. I asked Josef to give him Louise’s address and telephone number.The next day I was driven to the Central. Hofmannsthal was there discussing Greek tragedy with Wassermann. I gathered Hofmannsthal was re-writing his version of Sophocles for Strauss to set. I was silent.“No comments?” asked Altenberg.“Sorry. No. I find Sophocles too depressing, too bloody.”“I agree,” Wassermann said. “Yet there is a deep truth in the plays.”“That’s what Freud says, isn’t it?”“Yes. Did you read his sex-studies? Did he see the Schnitzler or did Arthur read Freud?”It was too empty for me. I soon excused myself and returned home. I began. Though my mind was tattered, there was no mistaking the warmth that wrapped itself on me. The one whom I despise the most is now supporting me on my darkest moment.In the most soothing voice, she then whispered to my ears. “It’s ok. Let’s start over”I closed my eyes as I felt her hand on mine, guiding its way back to the keys, and into a story retold a new. Like the flowers of spring bursting through the snows of passing winter, I breathe life to the music that have always been hidden and denied from the world. It was the most cherished dreams of a whimsical child with a heart still untainted and prayers that call for love. Treasured memories that I locked for so long now shines forth its brilliance, illuminating the troubled world of the things that made who I am and who I should be.And thus the stage shone with a masterpiece woven from the vows I made from my youth.…Hurriedly, I escaped the stage, completely oblivious to the fury of the audience whose joy cannot compare to mine. I.
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