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Boom, boom. Can you hear that? Can you hear the truth in my heart? Boom, boom. Am I’m alive… or does the truth live with you in death? Boom, boom. Does your memory live with you in death? Boom, boom. I need to know… do you remember what happened? Boom, boom. Are you angry with me? I need to know… am I forgiven? Boom, boom. I don’t want to remember dying… I don’t want to remember this pain. Boom, boom. I don’t want to remember the broken promises… that stain like cloying lies. Have you nothing to say? * * * ‘Do you dream about me? Tell me your truth. Do you dream I am with you?’ Where else would I go? How could I not dream about you? Did you think I’d found someone else? Sometimes I really believe you are here. That I’ll wake in the morning and everything will be just as it was. But there is no going back… nowhere we can return to… and even if we could, it was all just a masquerade… a sick joke played at our expense… Did you consider that? All our time together was an illusion… there. ’ ‘Do you really?’ I asked him. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I know it’s quick, but I can’t help myself.’ Later that evening, he drove me home and the evening ended with a goodnight kiss. A month later was the prom. It was the best night of my life. Afterward, Phillip and I went back to my place, because I knew we wouldn’t be disturbed while my mother was away. We sat on the couch, with the radio on. He held me tightly in his arms. ‘I feel so safe with you, Phillip,’ I told him. ‘Like a tornado could come through right at this moment and I’d be safe because I’m in your arms.’ He turned me to face him. ‘You really feel safe with me?’ ‘You sound surprised.’ ‘Well, because I’m a jock, everyone thinks I’m a sex fanatic. But I’m not, Sarah. Honest,’ he swore. ‘I believe you, Phillip.’ He pulled me close and hugged me. ‘I love you so much.’ ‘I love you, too, Phillip.’ We kissed. He stood up and pulled me up with him. He kissed me while he slowly unzipped the zipper on my dress. He folded the top.
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