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It was like they only did these things out of ritual. Underneath it all nothing was different. Dad still got drunk and was just as likely to beat her if she wasn't careful, Mom was just as impassive as ever, and back then, Patrick was just as mean. If the spirit of Christmas was supposed to come from within, she never saw any evidence of it affecting her family.Then when she had Colin and Christmas came around, she was determined for his sake to understand the true meaning of the day. Every year she put up decorations, played the music, bought meager gifts with the little money she had managed to save, and told Colin all the stories she knew about Santa and the reindeer, and Jesus and the manger and everything. He absorbed it all up and loved it. Every year as Christmas approached Colin would get so excited. It didn't matter if he got a little or a lot, he enjoyed the entire experience. The idea of Christmas was a treat for him. Then on Christmas day, she would watch Colin open his. Tell him, and your brother, to stay away from me and my family, I never want to see either of them again, got it?”“Are you telling me what to do?”“I’m asking you to protect me from them. You said I was yours and that no one else would touch me so please don’t allow them to touch me. Ever.”“I’ll see what I can do,” he said turning to leave.“WAIT! Is that it? You’ll SEE what you can do? Devin this has to stop and stop immediately. It’s getting out of hand and I won’t go along with it! Do you hear me?” she asked noticing this indifferent expression.“I said I’ll see what I can do, bitch!” he growled toward her. “I fuckin’ own you and you’ll do whatever I tell you to do! Do you hear me?!?” She was shocked by his outburst and stared at him as he walked away.“I’ll see you at lunch,” he added before pulling open the door.Gingerly she went to her desk for the handkerchief she had put there earlier to wipe away his dripping semen. She couldn’t allow that to remain inside of her and knew that.
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