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‘Come!!! Commmeeeee!!! Filll meeeeeee!!! Take meeeee!!! Yesssss!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Yesssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!’ After they finished, they laid in each other’s arms, looking at each other. Heidi kissed Tim. ‘Every time we make love it’s better than the time before!’ she gushed. ‘I love you!’ Tim blushed. ‘I love you, too,’ he replied. They snuggled a little longer, enjoying the warmth of their contact. Finally, Heidi rolled on her side and propped herself up on her elbow. ‘You have to leave,’ she said. ‘This morning.’ ‘What?’ Tim said. Taken off-guard by her statement, he rolled onto his side to face her. ‘Tim, don’t give me that sad puppy look,’ she said, ‘it isn’t going to work. We’re getting married tomorrow. You know what that means, don’t you?’ ‘No, I don’t know what it means,’ Tim replied. ‘I don’t have the foggiest idea what you’re talking about. Why do I have to leave this morning?’ ‘The groom isn’t supposed to see the bride the day before the wedding,’ Heidi said.. I might even be dead and gone by then! Who knows?The reason for this whole thing is because Ray Stevens sang a song about it. You can probably find it on You Tube if you want to. I'll put the lyrics at the end of this document. But people thought it was just Ray Stevens being cute when, in fact, he was singing about the story of my life.But he glossed over the details, which is why some people insisted I needed to write all this down. They feel like my story needs to be documented, because my story is kind of bizarre too. Except it wasn't to me.How bizarre?Well ... as it turns out ... I'm my own grandfather.I know, I know. You're shaking your head. Everybody always does. But I can prove it. That's the reason, in fact, that I'm documenting what happened.It started when I was twenty-three. I had a degree, but wasn't working in that field. Instead I was a handyman. Don't sneer. The world is desperately in need of people like me. For example, if you've got a leaky faucet, without a guy.
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