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"I'm afraid of pain. Emotional pain mostly. I've been feeling so much of it lately. And I'm afraid no one will ever like me, that everyone I ever meet will think I'm a freak. Most of all I'm afraid of how much I want to hurt people who hurt me." Oh honey!" Izzy climbed up and lay down on top of me like I was a mattress. Her arms snaked around my neck and back as she pressed herself hard against me."Ike, there are people out there who will never like you, no matter what you do. You can't change that. But there are some out there who will like you if you give them the chance. There are even some who'll love you. And don't you ever think you're a freak. It's a stupid word. All it means is 'not normal'. Well, I'll tell you a little secret... there's no such thing as 'normal' or 'average' or 'ordinary'. Anybody who claims to be 'normal' is just announcing that they're boring, dull and uninteresting. Being 'normal' or 'average', that's something to be afraid of." She stopped for a bit and. " Oh." He sounded dejected.I don't know why I said it. Maybe it was a hold-over from the days of playing hard to get. It seemed important that he didn't think I was creaming for him, even though I had."It's okay, though. I think you are good looking. And, I have noticed you in your pool." And, there was that dream you had." Yeah." So, you're going to be okay?"I made up my mind. I wasn't going to be okay. I was going to have a blast."Yeah, Bob. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to enjoy this."I put my hand on his thigh and rubbed it up and down. I knew that kind of contact would have an effect on him. It was a real signal that I was up for what I knew was going to happen.We arrived at the house about five minutes before Russ and Carolyn. Bob led me into the kitchen and we made drinks for everyone. When my husband and his wife finally arrived, we took our drinks into the den."Put on one of the movies," Carolyn told Bob. "One of the good ones. Then start the stereo. I want to dance."Bob.
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