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But I felt as if Iwas beginning anew, and I was. I could actually start out a new life from nowon. I loved my life before. But this was an opportunity to do somethingdifferent. I've always wanted to be and do something totally out of theordinary and this may be my opportunity. Someone else, who might've had thisexperience happen to them, probably would've committed suicide, but not me.This is an enormous change, but I can rise to it. I quickly devoured thewhole magazine and then the next one. I need to know what it took to be atotal woman, The issues, the expectations of society, everything. Afterfinishing I left the cafe and walked down the street with a renewed sense ofconfidence.As I was happily strolling down the street, a punk almost ran over me withhis skateboard. If it weren't for a gentleman who quickly grabbed me by thearm and pulled me over to him as the punk ran by with his skateboard."Thank you," I said in a sweet melodic voice which was now my own."You are welcomed. Now there was a spring in my step, a joy in my heart. I woke up each day with a freshness of life and a liking for another day. “A day” when I would see Tanuja Bhabi again. I got closer and closer to Ranjeet’s family, and now my Bhabi (sister in law) called me bhaiya (brother) and I called her Bhabi (sister-in-law). Other more daring names crossed my mind, but for now I had to be content with Bhabi. The children liked me very much even though they are now grown up. During those meetings, I carefully avoided looking at Tanuja Bhabi. When I spoke to her it was with kindness, respecting her place as my friends wife. In fact, I had not yet got a clear view of her body nor did I try to get a close look. Whenever I met her in her house, in the presence of Ranjeet, she remained with her upper body and head always covered with the pallu (side) of her dupata (long scarf). She was from a regular middle class and very conservative family and had grown up in a very small town. So I have always.
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