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Lustful. Colorful. Her long blonde hair was a waterfall of softness and her hands were steady as she touched me during our second kiss. Her fingers were light and caressing, bringing me more pleasure than had she been making love to me with her whole body. I drank in her lushness, her giving, her generosity. I hurt so much inside for wanting to make her mine. My desire made me greedy and I started asking questions. I wanted to know her. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to flood my mind and soul with knowledge of her. And so I asked…once, twice, three times. I hungered for every corner in her soul. And my craving only increased with each word she spoke, each detail she shared. But I didn’t know then that in those moments that I was losing her. She stated, rather than asked if I were falling in love with her. I probed that too. Did she want me in love with her? What made her think that I was? Did she feel the same way? She didn’t understand that I was afraid to say yes,. She was delicate at 54, wearing only a 34 A and wearing a 0 in pants. They had always hoped that shed find a big, strong man to take care of her. But that wasnt going to happen! She was 16 and it still hadnt happened. It would never happen, if she could help it. The boys at school had been a little disappointed, to say the least. Especially some of the boys she had hung out with, one of them who had had a long time crush on her. He was devastated at the news, it was as if she had died. The whole small town in which she lived was in shock. They lived in the country, practically untouched by homosexuality. They still clung to their old ways, and many people said cruel things behind her back. They didnt know what to think of her, and they fell very short of being supportive. She sighed, maybe shed just have to move away for college? She was walking home alone, many of the mothers wouldnt allow their daughters near her anymore. Some of her best friends would never be able to spend the.
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