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..," Oh Dear God, no!" I interrupted."Please, Ms. Lanier," the speaker continued in a calming manner, "I'mcalling from the Emergency Department of Saint Francis Hospital. Yoursister has been involved in an automobile accident. She's been prettyseriously injured and will be taken up to the ICU in a few minutes. Asserious as her injuries are, Ms. Lanier, please understand that she isexpected to make a full recovery, at least that's what the ER docs aretelling me."I have to say here that the fact that Officer Warren had called me 'Ms.Lanier' hadn't bothered me too much. Whenever I get upset my voice goesup about three octaves. This discrepancy was the last thing on my mind."She's identified you as next-of-kin, so we're notifying you so that youcan make arrangements in order to be with her, if you wish." Althoughhis words sounded formulaic, I could hear a real sense of genuinecompassion in his voice."Thanks very much, Officer..., eh," Officer Warren," he offered."I will be there as soon. I liked the feeling of grass under my feet as a walked to and fro barefooted. Yeah, I liked grass and I liked ass. ‘Ass’…? Why this word popped into my head, I couldn’t say, but it sounded like a keeper to me. “Hey, Eve,” I said. “Lady, you’ve got a really nice ass! I like it very much, but I believe the Old Man upstairs gave you a defective one. Why honey, your ass has a crack down the middle splitting it apart!”Eve giggled with melodious merriment. Flipping over onto her back, she looked at me just as if she were staring at a half-witted man. “Adam,” she lectured. “God’s ways are mysterious and we’re not supposed to question them. Besides, I don’t believe my ‘ass’ is defective because I have a cracked mound on the front side of me, too!”“You do?” I asked with skepticism. “Well, Miss Prissy, I believe I’d have to get a look at that place before I’d go to giving God the benefit of my doubts. I come from a ‘show-me’ land, so M’lady, show me!”Playing along eagerly, Eve.
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