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He traveled far and made the beginning of his tower here. That's when the goblins came.They were filthy and disgusting, they looked like a cross between a horn frog and angry midget. Wielding sharpened sticks and rusty swords. It was pitiful.They attack thinking a quick meal but with two spells and a hand full of cantrips he killed the lot of them. He would have put it out of his mind but then it dawned on him. He could use a good amount of slaves for his tower. Using magic was required but with slaves he could conserve power.With that goal in mind Ertun hunted down all tribes around. It only took the wizard killing their strongest (which to be honest was just a sad slaughter) before they bowed down to him.It took a couple of years but he had built his tower and a village around it for the goblins. At the end of it they numbered in the four or five hundred, it grew every so often when Ertun would get ahold of another tribe.It was then that he started to experiment on them. Ertun made. Poisonous cow. So, imagine, Fen and I have some snotty kid and all of a sudden I’m landed with a moron, a kid and no prospect of the family fortune.’ She took a huge swig of whatever was in her glass. ‘Fuck that. Take me home?’ ‘I don’t know where you live.’ ‘Not my home, you blister, yours. You can shag me senseless if you like.’ I didn’t, of course. I extracted her address from her eventually, called a cab, got her to her place, slid her onto the sofa, left her snoring, mouth open, and went home and thought no more about her. Sunday morning. I’d spent the evening before at a friend’s house for dinner and, a bit like Vee on the Friday, I’d had a drop too much and was not feeling great when I woke up. My cat, Balou, (Cat Balou was Dad’s favourite film) bit my shoulder; he often did this when I was late up. I told him to piss off but then the phone started to ring so I answered it, not, I have to say, in the most graceful manner. ‘Just wanted to thank you for getting me home.’ It was.
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