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" (I thought the word fanny was betterto use than my "butt" or "a--".) {Ed. note: obviously an American setting andnarrator. :)}Betty answered my latest objections, "Ricky, these slacks were madeespecially to go with the blouse you are now wearing. They are made to fityou closely and give your body the support it needs while performing themany different tasks your new job requires of you."I still did not want them and said; "But Betty, you can see everything!These pants let everyone know I am obviously a boy!"Mrs. Brown just shook her head and Betty chuckled. "You're embarrassed aboutthat?" I turned beet red again and she continued, "I can see you areblushing so I know the answer. Ricky, I will give you something to wear thatwill fix that so you won't be embarrassed okay?" She added, "I really hope youwill take these slacks as a gift from me to you Ricky. The blouse and slacksgo together and you look very professional wearing them."OH FRIPSY!!! I looked at Betty and she had that. I’m not going to use words like ‘I like it’ or ‘I don’t like it’. That’s irrelevant to our discussion. My personal tastes are not at issue. I’ll try to keep this as objective as I can within the realm of language and literature. Good enough?”“Yes, ma’am,” I said. I was already a bit dejected. I’d put my heart into this story. Toughen up, old man.“Okay. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of preparing his room and meeting his neighbors. The way it reads at the moment, he might be arriving on.
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