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I know I will.’ I glared again. Donna looked at me as if to say, ‘what did I say?’ and continued, ‘like College says, mull on it for a while.’ ‘Do you think I haven’t? Look at the bloody things. It’s like having a horse’s arse down my shirt.’ ‘She has got a point,’ said Donna, mercilessly. ‘What brought this on, Nellie?’ I asked quietly. And then it all came out. Apparently she had been asked out by a man, Sid the plumber, who had taken her to another pub. He’d introduced her to some friends and there was a lot of drink taken. One of the friends had said to Sid that he’d won and there was a lot of winking and nudging. Sid, when questioned, admitted he’d had a bet with a mate that he’d pull a bird with bigger tits than his friend. Nellie had poured her pint of Auntie Mary’s Old Jilling Ale over Sid’s head, much to the amusement of the assembled crowd and gone home alone and in tears. It was at this propitious moment that Sid entered the bar. He looked shame faced and walked hesitantly. I remember he had said paddles or something like that, and standing by my desk I imagined him putting me over his knee as he sat on my office chair and using my bendy office ruler relentlessly over my wriggling ass until it was bruised and blistered. As I stood on the tall sliding library ladder to get some reference books down for our senior legal partner, I imagined my wrists and ankles spread apart and tied to it for a caning.... I could barely concentrate on any work I did and most of what little work I did do required massive amounts of correction. Finally the day was ended, and I rushed home to get a shower and changed. I got ready; my tummy a mass of butterflies. I put on a pretty silk black dress, and feeling sexy, some black hold up stockings with a lovely lace trim at the top that I had bought specially during the week; I added some pale pink lip gloss and set off for Sycamore Avenue. I knew I had left myself enough time, but nevertheless I couldn’t help.
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