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And even if his camera was pointing inmy line of sight, why did I think that "Princess" was in reference to me?Do I secretly yearn for men to talk to me like I am a girl? Was itimpossible for a secret sissy to keep their desires fully hidden? Was Igoing to mess up and accidentally say or do other sissy things in front ofmy family?I hope he didn't tell my sister about it because I don't know how I wouldexplain my way out of that jam. I feared my sister saying to me, "You wantto be called Princess? And Mom says you already like nice purses so youaren't that far from being a girl." She might also say, "Since you are sogirly you need to model dresses for the amusement of me and my femalefriends."My story is now drawing to its conclusion. In the current moment my motheris still trying to find out if I am gay and I won't say yes or no. I couldget her off of my back by saying that I'm not gay but as a sissy I don'tlike to say I'm not gay because it seems like an aggressive action. Natalie told Martha she was committed to being a nun but was not committed to doing it by the book. The younger nun was shocked when she asked Martha how she handled her sexual urges. Natalie quite openly told her she had enjoyed sex with her brother Frank from an early age. And during the time of visits to her family home, “Whenever Frank is there, we have sex together.” Natalie imbued Martha with such a strong level of confidentiality that she had no fear of the younger nun ratting her out. Besides, she knew Martha had been struggling from her first days as a nun and was waiting for the proverbial straw to break the camel’s back which would cause Martha to bolt.Natalie made it a regular occurrence by sneaking into Martha’s cell after lights out in the convent. She would snuggle up to Martha like a spoon and they would talk. They had never done anything sexual before, but it was always comforting for Martha to have a person getting so close to her. Sometimes they would talk for a.
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