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"My attorney? I wasn't aware I would need one." Ifelt myself fully qualified to represent myself in such a trivialmatter."The Judge prefers it," she explained. "The proceedings here are alittle... unusual." Yes," I replied drolly, "I'm sure they are." I was sure this wouldmean the fine would be even larger. Apparently Ovid's little speedtrap would involve payment of an attorney to "defend" me as well."We just have a few minutes before court is in session," Susan Jagercontinued, ignoring my comments. "As I understand the case, you lostcontrol of your vehicle and spun out of control until your car came toa rest in a ditch near a stand of trees. Does that cover it?"I nodded carefully.She returned the nod. "Fine. Then we can plead guilty and move to havethe punishment waived." Of course," I said in apparent agreement. In fact, I had no intentionof pleading guilty in that kangaroo court. I could see the planclearly. I would plead guilty with the hope of a suspended sentenceonly to have. I was into the movie and was enjoying jacking off and never heard the living room door open. I had left the bedroom door open, which is off of the living room. Because I had the volume on the television up, I did not hear anyone come in. My wife had brought home some of her friends. She was going to let them borrow a movie we had just bought so they had stopped off at the house to pick it up. My wife had told them I was at work, so when they heard a noise coming from the room they thought maybe it was a burglar so they all three came to investigate the noise. When they reached the door they were shocked to see me totally naked jacking off on the bed, the television is on the opposite wall from the door so I didn’t see them in the door until I heard my wife say “Oh Shit”, which is exactly what I said when I turned and saw them. The two women quickly went back to the living room but my wife was still in the doorway laughing and saying she was sorry and had no idea I was home. I was.
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