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Once outside he collapsed on a nearby bench, his entire body shaking like a leaf. Someone had just mistaken him for a woman! After a good five minutes sitting in total shock, he began the short walk back home, head bowed so as to not be seen by other passersby he was sure would be staring. Once safely home, the first order of business was to take a long hard look at himself, to see if the store clerk had read him female by accident, or had this cold changed his face more than he was willing to admit. There was no mistaking the reflection was that of himself, yet a combination of blond hair and the subtle changes in skin texture, could just possibly have been seen as a rugged looking woman. By nightfall he was totally exhausted, so he turned in early with hopes that a good night of sleep would speed his recovery and put an end to the punishment his body was going through.Saturdays were usually filled with errands to take care of laundry and food for the coming week, but not this. I think from her perspective it will be like I am always just out of touch. She’ll only be able to read me when I’m not focused on her. She’ll be able to eavesdrop on my life but never communicate directly with me. In a way, that will be a relief.Why would you say that? Jan said.Because, to me, it’s the simple truth when I say she is dead to me. This new reality spares me, the old Jake, from having to have any direct contact with her. I don’t think I could make myself do it. I learned something last night. There are worse ways for a relationship to end than death.You can’t mean that.I didn’t create the way things are, Jan. I’m just trying to live through them. When Dom Jake talks to her, the only thing that will concern him is managing his slave and ensuring that he gets his due. If I were able to talk to her, well, I’d get all hung up on how I’ve been rejected by my mother, my lover, my closest friend. I’m sure that in her mind the only thing she did was spurn me in favor of a lover.
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