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And here was my beautiful, lovely, chesty, sexy sister, telling me that she rarely received any pleasure. I almost teared up. "Carol....im...I'm so sorry" I half mocked, as I put a hand on her shoulder "Oh, fuck off!" She retorted. "He's a good guy, he just...you know...He finishes pretty quick. And to be honest, he's just not all that great, when he does last." "Well what is it? Is it his size?" "Kind of, I guess. I dunno. Most nights he seems, kind of fragile. Almost afraid. I always have to take charge." "That's it then!" I exclaimed. "Let him take charge, once. Seduce him and have him take control for once" "That's the thing..." She replied, " I can't really seduce. It's always just me jumping his bones, really" Well, then try to be sexy, you know? Show a little bit of skin, but hold it back some. Don't show too much, but just enough to excite him." I said. She seemed worried. Her chocolate-browned eyes were a tad glassy, like she was about to tear up. She really wanted this to. But where would that leave us? Most likely she would fall back into the same funk she was in before all this and in addition would have to deal with the loss of excitement and attention the job provided. I didn't want to put her or myself through that. On the other hand... This whole thing made me angry, intensely jealous, and insecure about what I still meant to Ash. I was in extreme mental torment and something I had never known in my 20 years with her. Did I really want things to go back to where they were? No. Was there an alternative? Maybe, but not something that easy to imagine. My mind was racing and full of intense emotion. I was wrestling with the essence of infidelity. Only this time it wasn't some other couple. It was too close to home. It was us and I never thought that would happen. I was pretty sure they had not slept together...yet. But from my counseling perspective I knew the physical part usually happens well after the emotional part was already in place. Once.
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