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At her door the scene was similar to the one last week, a passion filled good night kiss that left then both breathless and somewhat frustrated. John had decided to himself that he wasn’t going to try to take this to the next level until he felt it was right. Carol herself wanted to wait; to be sure he wasn’t just looking for a quick lay. It wouldn’t have bothered her that much if he did, but she wanted to find out, to know for sure.Within a week, they no longer had to ask if the other was available on any given night, they knew each other’s schedule. The question was no longer “do you want to go somewhere” but “what do you want to do tonight”. They were spending more and more time together, becoming closer, but still neither made any move towards the bedroom. They were like two adolescents, sex was on both their minds, but both seemed to be afraid to mention it. Neither wanted the other to think that’s all they were after.It was during this period, as they grew more at ease with. She thought she saw a tear rolling down his cheek, then another. He had gone silent, attempting to control his emotions. ‘I’m sorry, Deb. Maybe you better go, I’m not very good company.’ Deborah remembered John’s compliments about her counselling skills, she decided that she should at least try. She shuffled along the sofa, closing the gap between them so that her right thigh touched his left thigh. She put her arm around his shoulder and tousled his dirty hair. ‘Martin, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bring all the memories back.’ ‘No Deb, it’s not your fault, it’s always there. I can’t think about anything else.’ His head was lowered as he finished the last of the dinner she had provided. ‘I might have to move. Everywhere I go in this apartment, I can see her, smell her. I probably should try to let go, but she meant everything to me.’ ‘I know she did, Marty, and she loved you. She told me that time and time again.’ He turned his head toward her and stared straight into Deborah’s.
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