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In fact I was so much of afeminist that at times I wanted to be a woman. Why? Well I didn't comefrom a broken home because my father never hit my mother.He hit me.As a result of my upbringing I had a deep sense of being somehowinadequate. I was a disappointment to my father because I was not likehim. I did not do well at school and I was not the fighter that myfather wanted to be. In fact I used to get bullied at school. I wouldcry a lot.I started to find comfort in humiliation and in being called gay or apoof although I knew I was not gay. I didn't like getting hit but beingat an boys school my feminity and feminism was noted by my drama teacher,an open minded lady called Miss O'Connor.I grew up to hate my father. On one occasion I even told him I wished hewas dead. He hit me then and my mother sent me to bed with no dinnerbecause I would not apologise. I vowed that I would never be like myfather and it was then that I discovered my mother's laundry basket.It started with. “We're going to use what you've learned so far today, and we're going to build on it. Now hush. Just enjoy this,” I said, as I sat up and pulled her to face me.I removed her turban, and combed out her damp wavy hair with my fingers, just as I had when she was little. She had been a c***d then. Things were different now. I had never seen her as a woman before today. I found myself holding her face in my hands. Her blue eyes were open wide, darting back and forth between mine.Her lips formed into the needful pout she had perfected over the years, and she said, “Make love to me, Dad.”“All right.”I kissed her more passionately, our tongues dancing and sparring with each other. I lowered her to the bed, and then lay down next to her, allowing my one hand to begin to trace random patterns slowly and gently on the delicate skin of her throat and upper chest. When my fingertips first touched her aroused nipple, she gasped in pleasure, “Oh, Dad!”“I love you, Jamie,” I whispered as I kissed her.
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