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"That's OK. My mother doesn't look at my report cards. A girl, making it on brains? Completely doesn't get the concept. All girls have is a body. I told her the other night that she just thinks I'm as dumb as a rock because she is. I got slapped for that, too. Anyway, that's her thing-your body is all you got, so sell it to the nearest bidder. Lily Woodard would really blow her mind, huh?" Ed managed a grin at that."Amanda asked me yesterday why I freeze up when I get touched. This is why. I've had it drummed into my head for so long that my body is to be used for men's pleasure that the programming kicks in, even though I know intellectually that it's bullshit. This is why I'm scared of my own shadow. This is why I hated parading my body around naked. Ed, I don't even play with myself. I can't. I used to, a little, before I lost my virginity. I think I'm frigid. Amanda told me she liked it when guys played with her while she was in the program. I get no pleasure out of it-just pain. " I, uh, I knew that. It's just... Damn, I don't know." Welcome to my world." I'm sorry you got in trouble." Why? It wasn't your fault." It's just... if I'd talked to you..." Mr. Parker and I were meant to bump heads. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut. I didn't." I still feel responsible. If you hadn't been mad at me..." I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at me." Still..." Old news. I'm unsuspended, so I can coach the team without hiding in the dugout and get back to regular life." But you're... you're going to play, aren't you?'"I can't. I missed try-outs. I'm not on the roster."You fucking idiot!" I..." You big baboon. Your name was on the roster before try-outs even began. Why do you think Hallowell and Calloway only picked eleven? We all knew you were on the team. Kevin knows he's only shortstop till you come back." I..." What kind of twit are you?" I..."She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Sparkling conversationalist." I..." Tony, sit."I started to sit on the bed with.
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