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. needed something I could give you. I wasn’t sure I could give you that, because I wasn’t sure you knew what you needed. But, when I thought I could, I wanted to help you.”“You call taking my virginity and knocking me up helping?” she squealed.“Were you happy when we were making love?” he asked. He sounded quite serious.She thought about that. She took in another deep breath and counted to ten again as she realized she’d have to admit she was happy when he was making love to her. Actually, deliriously happy was closer to the truth. She didn’t want to admit that.“I did need that,” she said, her voice low and soft. It was the most she could admit.“And because you needed it, I needed to give it to you,” he said, an earnest look on his face. “Does that make sense to you?”Erica thought of Will. She understood exactly what Bobby was talking about. She’d done that with Will. She blinked. She actually understood him! She nodded, still thinking about that, but was distracted when he went. In fact, once she got a little peek at the outside world, she would not be denied at all. I tried to put her away or relegate her to an occasional fetish, but it never worked. I even purged all her stuff a time or two. But inevitably the unquenchable need to be Jennifer always came back, and it would come back stronger and quicker each time I tried to deny her. Truth be told, I am glad I attempted to get rid of Jennifer. Because my failure to do so has affirmed that she is who I am and who I was meant to be. The fact that my desire to be a woman would never go away, but had become instinctual helped prove to me that I was never truly a Jeff, but always a Jenn. She wasn’t a fetish or some deviation on being bi or gay, but real flesh and bl**d femininity. Whenever I was her, I felt right and whole. Whenever I see her in the mirror or a photo, I know she is me. And I am so glad, so very glad, I embraced myself by embracing her. Jennifer started out shy and timid – uncertain of herself.
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