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From first handexperience, the feedback is remarkably helpful and motivating and I knowthe authors would love to hear from you.One thing I'd do differently if I do ever write another story is I'dwrite the whole story or at least a very detailed outline before postingany of it. Writing each part as I finished the previous part meant thatI backed myself into corners too many times (many of you rightly calledme on details that didn't fit). If I do write again, I'm also going tofind someone to proofread for me. Biggest single mistake was thesouthern drawl; I liked and still like the idea of Karli having thataffect, but writing the dialogue was difficult and time consuming.For anyone wondering, yes, I am a runner and am in fact getting ready torun my 10th half marathon this spring. Many of the ideas for the storycame to me while training. Speaking of ideas, you almost got a"soundtrack" in this story. While running, I listen to music and some ofthe songs on my playlist fit the. After dancing nearby for a minute, Olivia decided that she simply had to touch that skin, see what it felt like. Working her way over behind the mystery woman, Olivia stared briefly at the back of her neck; her hair was swept up under the hat, revealing a soft and shapely nape. Olivia gently reached out and touched it; an electric shudder ran through her and the woman turned around, looking surprised at first, then favoring Olivia with a knowing smile.The woman grabbed Olivia and pulled her close, and the two began to dance. Olivia didn’t have much formal dance training, but her partner led forcefully, whirling Olivia around the dance floor, dipping and spinning her. At one point as she hung upside-down, feeling a little dizzy from the twirling and the strobe light, Olivia caught sight of Mimi. She was sitting in one corner of the room in an enormous chair that to Olivia looked like a throne; on either side of her were small groups of women in slightly lower chairs.One of the chairs.
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