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He was told they were expensive, but he certainly didn't expect the cost to be just under hundred dollars. "They better work", he muttered. "Otherwise I will be seeking a new clinic". Each evening he crushed a tablet and sprinkled it into the vegetables till all were used. He had no idea of what reaction a woman would do, but his wife showed no sign of altering her stand and he received the same rebuke after the tablets were finished as he had before they were introduced. 'Maybe it is me', he muttered. His wife had gone to bed; he slept in a separate room. He knew that he never was a 'ladies man'. He remembered a comment a woman he had worked with say of one of the male employees who worked in the office. "Now that man can put his shoes under my bed anytime". That sort of comment he never received, the opposite was more common. "Trevor you have the sex appeal of a piece of concrete", that was said to him, sure as a joke by a woman colleague he got on very well with as a fellow. Which is perhaps why we had such a crude tradition of hazing the new waitresses. At some point in the distant past, the head cook had obtained through foul means no doubt a silicone mold. And it wasn’t just any silicone mold, oh no. It wasn’t a bundt cake, or even a butt cake. I’m pretty sure it was a mold of a Shetland Pony. His penis to be exact. It was a flaccid green work of art, lovingly capturing every bulging vein and obscene lump of the equine copulative machinery. It was also huge. I distinctly recall the shaft being thick as my forearm. If that was normal for a stallion, I shudder to think what a novelty penis mold would look like for one of their bachelor parties. This flaccid green silicone skin would be filled with water, and then suspended upside down in a carefully constructed nest of bagged frozen veggies. The silicone was too thin to support the weight of so much fluid inside it, and on more than one occasion we’d arrive in the morning to find that some corn had.
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