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I remembered it was one of those big mother-fuckers that I sensed were so powerful that nothing could ever happen to it with me inside. It didn’t work that day but they were usually as dependable as the I.R.S. sending you a certified letter if you didn’t pay your taxes.No, I was thinking it was that rotting pile of hay that we had collapsed into as we “disengaged” from the redcoats on the way back to New Jersey. When I say disengaged, I mean that we were running our ass off to keep from getting bayoneted by one of the German-speaking Hessians with their God-awful tight discipline and a one track mind on following orders no matter what.The simple truth of the matter was that they had more in common with us American Patriots than with the King-ruled redcoats that looked down their noses at them even though they were much more effective than the regular British enlisted troops. A lot was made over the fact that they were mercenaries but they actually were mostly conscripted farm boys. . Lie ... with me.... Eat pie ... with me.... But don't leave..."Not quite the way Sheryl Crow wrote it. I pulled the covers aside and got to my feet. I don't want to sound like a whiner. Today was Cindy's birthday, and she was entitled to sing all she wanted.The door to the bathroom was open just a crack, and tendrils of steam were drifting lazily out into the bedroom. I eased the door open a few more inches. As usual, she had left the fan off and the bathroom was wall-to-wall fog." ... Are you strong enough to be my man?"I could only occasionally make out Cindy's ghostly form moving around behind the glass doors of our oversized shower stall. Feeling like an actor in a bad action movie, I waited until I thought her back was turned and then slipped though the door and pressed against the wall, breathing in the thick, sweet smell of shampoo and conditioner." ... Are you strong enough to be my man? ... Are you long enough to be my man?"This latest was followed by a cackle of delight.I.
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