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"I'll let you know," I said.The bus journey home felt like a dream. My face felt hot and there was a sick feeling in my stomach. All I could think about was Felcher's offer, but not in any way that was useful to me, just loose ideas not meshing.Even now, writing this down, I still can't make it feel real. I need more time.21/11/05--------A day's paid leave. I spent the day thinking about Felcher's offer, as he wanted me to. I can't say the idea of being a woman excites me. I feel comfortable enough in my own masculinity that I've never felt the temptation of a bit of gender swapping. Maybe that's just an excuse, but it feels true.But there's another angle: I'm tired of being me. Maybe being this woman Felcher wants me to be will be some kind of release. Say goodbye to Martin for a while and spend a mental holiday as Martina, coming back to myself refreshed and whole. That's the idea, anyway.I don't know if I could cope with the sex. I mean, Felcher's no oil painting. He's. It had been a long day. Ithad been a weird day. Who does that jerk think he is? Barging into ourlives, making fun of me! And now he's LIVING here! Stupid Ranma.Stupid Daddy. She turned over, staring at the wall and trying to settleher thoughts enough to sleep. It wasn't happening: the room feltstifling even with the window open, her covers too heavy, and when sheturned over again she saw that Ranma was standing in the room with her.The last one made her sit bolt upright in bed, pulling her blanketsaround her. She was about to scream when the girl - he was a girlagain, she noticed, still in the clothes he had worn earlier in the day- frantically made a 'shh!' gesture. "Akane, please," she hissed, "justdon't scream. Please."A glower was Akane's first response. "What are you doing in here,Ranma?" was her second. But then she looked at the girl in front of herand relented: something was different. This wasn't the infuriatinglycocksure girl from the evening, the one who made.
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