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Then I met my wife and just like a cheesy romance novel there was something about her and I knew if I wanted this amazing woman my punk ass needed to grow the hell up. My wife filled that void in me that I used to fill with hate and anger and pettiness. Again I do not believe in god-even she is yet to convince me-but if I were going to believe in an angel in human flesh my wife was that angel, my green eyed angel. She became the conscious I never had. I would stop and think, ‘If I do this she will be so upset…’ Some people have an angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other, until her I had two devils warring to see who could make me do the dumbest thing. Many times in our marriage I would tell people, ‘You don’t know my wife, but trust me…you owe her.’ My wife saved me from me and saved my daughters from their twisted bi polar mother because when the time came and I had to help them she was right by my side fighting to get custody of them which we did and she raised them as her. Ill never be like him. There was now only one thing stopping us, stopping me, from taking this from this dusky, wet cliff top back to the hotel room up the street, my psychotic ex boyfriend. The guy who had scarred my so badly eight years ago, it had taken until tonight to even let Jamie hold me close, to finally let his gentle touch caress my arms down to my palms, to let him entwine his fingers round mine. It will be fine. I promise. Dropping his hand I begin to pace, back and forth in front of the beautiful sun setting behind us, over the whale bone arch wed spend the last few moments cuddling under. My eyes not daring to look at him, not wanting to see the hurt look in his eyes. My heart says I love you. My body says I want to feel you inside me. My brain says youre going to hurt me. I dont know if I can let you do that. Knowing I wouldnt panic like I used he grabbed out for my hand, stopping me mid pace. I looked up into his eyes and saw everything, seeing that he was true and.
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