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I was also a democrat once," I said "Do I get the beer or do I have to kick someone's ass to get served." Could you do that?" a much larger man in his fifties asked."I have done it before. I don't reckon I forgot how," I said."I know you," he declared. "This is that bad ass PI from Aster. You know the TV bitch." Yeah that's me, and no it ain't faked. So do I get the beer or not. That's all I came for," I said. "The beer." Why the hell did you drive all the way down here for a beer?" he demanded."I lost an election bet," I replied."Elections ain't for six months," he informed."It was the last election," I said smiling."You one smart ass bitch," the older man said. "I like that in my whores." Enough to buy me a beer?" I asked."Sure, I'll buy you a beer, then I'm gonna' fuck you in the ass." he said.I moved faster than anyone he ever saw in his miserable life. I grabbed the front of his leather jacket and pulled his head down to my level. He was a bit taller after all. Then from nowhere. Approach, do you know the wind at six thousand is 270 at fifty?Yeah, I do, and if we could jack the airport up to fifty-five hundred you could have that runway. Expect 14 Right.Novice female military controller to US bomber leaving radar coverage, forgetting the correct terminology You are entering my dark areaUnknown pilot: WHOOPEE!And (another) hoary old chestnut: QANTAS pilot to copilot landing at Sydney, forgetting the cabin intercom was live:What I need now is a cold beer and a hot shielaStewardess hurries forward lest worse befall.Chorus of passengers Hey, you forgot the beer!Lufhansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open: We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docksVoice on frequency: ACHTUNG SPITFEURTower Controller: BA356, proceed to stand 69BA: Yes, Sir, Nose in or Nose out?Pilot: DAMN! That was closeIAD Tower: Delta 560, what seems to be the problem?Pilot (catching his breath), Near miss- was he ever close!IAD Tower: Delta 560, how.
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