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"My body went into shock just after I started singing because of somewomanly issues that I would prefer not to go into detail about. I amcompletely fine, healing well, and not at risk for any repeats of whathappened Monday morning. The condition has been completely corrected, andmy doctors believe that I will have no adverse side effects."I want to reiterate to my fans that I am healthy, and I want toapologize to everyone who wanted to see me perform Monday morning. I'msorry for disappointing you, and I hope I can make it up to you in thefuture. Thank you."I stepped back from the podium for a second, trying to recapture mybearings. Some of the people in the audience were already shouting outquestions, and I was quickly being overwhelmed. Scott stepped forward."One at a time, folks," he said. "Please don't ask your question untilSarah calls on you."He stepped back again, and I hesitantly stepped forward."What kind of womanly problems?" someone screamed from the left side ofthe room. I. . she did meet someone but it wasn't another guy, it's a girl. She met a college girl by the name of Stephanie Green. They're living together." Are you trying to tell me my best friend suddenly turned gay?!" No, but I am telling you that she's having a lesbian fling with a teenage girl, and from what I'm told, this girl is no more lesbian than Lisa." This is unbelievable!" Like I said, something very strange is happening around here. The five of us were inseparable during high school. Lisa isn't the type to suddenly turn gay. Kara wouldn't drop out of Harvard. Haley would never get a boob job and dress the way she was dressed. I'm scared we might be next." Have you discussed this with Jack?" No. He's spending all his time with his business lately that I haven't wanted to bother him." I wasn't due to get out until next week, but I'll explain that I have an emergency back home and get out early. Please don't do anything until I get there!" Thanks, sis, I was hoping you'd say.
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