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The magazines ranged from the likes of 'Mayfair' to 'Fiesta' and 'Razzle'. But after a few reads, they were left to fester beneath my bed, their use no longer needed. Because once I discovered actual sex, porn and masturbation was a very poor second prize.As I hit my thirties, I found that regular pornography did little to nothing for me. So, I decided to pay my first visit to a sex shop, looking for something more hardcore. I remember entering the small shop with the blacked out windows, and no matter where I turned my gaze, I was confronted by huge dildos and vibrators, or DVD and VHS cassette boxes with enormous cocks and gaping pussies emblazoned across the front of the cases. I immediately felt my face burn as the kindly young lady behind the counter asked if she could help me with anything. I embarrassingly replied that I would like to browse, if that was okay. But whilst looking through the shelves, I wandered first into the gay section, then fortuitously, into a section. She however, asked me the need to humiliate them in public. I did not reply to that, I had no justification. I just had the urge. When I got home from the ‘trip’ I was welcomed with the warmth and affection that I deserved. I knew it was an act. I did not make any efforts to get physically close to her. It was almost revolting to even touch her. I had to do something about it. If I did not sleep with her in the same bed she would ask questions and I might lose my composure and let her have it. I did not intend to give in so easily. I told her that I had a lot of work to finish as I was looking forward to getting the job I carried from client site finished up before weekend. I told her, it might even result in a promotion and it would make the rest of life a lot easier. She bought that and I sat down on my computer with my headphones on and stared to put together a show for the people that were going the premier of the audio/video clip that I had collected. It had everything good.
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