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However none of themwas ever able to get even the slightest glimpse of how sexuality works from thefemale point of view. I frequently discussed my worries with Sandra, my bestfriend. She really understood me on the deepest, most intimate level. Sheunderstood that what I needed was not just some quick intrusion between thelegs, but rather a level of sexuality stimulating mind and soul andarticulating a feeling which actually deserves to be called ?LOVE?. In factwhenever I chatted with Sandra about my unfortunate sexual experiences and whenI felt how intimately understanding she was, I had no greater wish thanenjoying tenderness with her. However I never dared to reveal my wishes. Ithought it was an absolute taboo topic. I was afraid I might lose her if I cameup with it. However it seems she just read it in my eyes. One day when we weresitting together again, she suddenly just started kissing me. She gave me themost intensive and passionate tongue kiss I had ever experienced. Then she. So they doted on me and my three older brothers were veryprotective. Jeff had taken over the role of protector soon after westarted dating during my junior (his senior) year. Before you can understand how I felt, you need to know alittle more about me. When I was thirteen, I spent the summer at acamp in Maine and had a wonderful time once I got over being homesick.I developed a crush on one of the counselors, a college girl. She wasone of those big tan athletic girls that California seems to churn outlike hotcakes. At the time, I was a skinny little redheaded withgreen eyes and lots of freckles. Diana, the counselor, realized how Ifelt after she caught me spying on her when she was in the shower andshe sat me down and had a long talk with me. She told me my feelingsweren’t bad, just inappropriate at that time and in that place. Thetalk didn’t make my crush go away, but it made me feel better aboutmyself. When I got back home I surpressed my feelings about.
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