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"You still cheated on me though..."Feeling sick and disgusted, the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I didn't cheat, because we weren't officially together. I asked you numerous times, and you kept telling me 'no'."She dropped her chin to her chest, as she contemplated that, and I felt her 'happy' switch slip a little more. "You're right. If you would have said that a few minutes ago, I probably would have blown up, but I can handle it now. You may think of it as manipulating me, and it probably is, but I want you to know that I appreciate you moving that...switch." She looked back up at me then, before asking, "I don't understand why this alien gave you this ability, though. Was it just to mess with the human race?"I was glad she was sitting down, as I knew the next part might be the hardest to explain. "No, she did it to try to save all of us." I explained to her about the demons, how they had gained their technology, and then turned and used it against their. I had comeout to a close friend, telling her all my struggles, how I felt, and whenshe presented the word 'genderfluid' I pretty much latched onto it. I'dlove to be a girl, but I don't always mind being a boy. I like bits ofboth, but if I was given the choice, I'd be a girl.I often fantasise about various things happening to me, a magicalovernight change into a woman, or something like waking up one day andbeing the only person on earth, leaving me free to wear and do whatever Iwanted.All this has led to me being quite severely depressed, especially in myteens. More recently I've suffered from low moods, low confidence.Thoughts of suicide have always been there, not constant, but they wouldcrop up whenever I was at my lowest. These times are when I most want tobe a girl, believing that becoming one will be the cure-all for my life.This thing has always held me back in my life. I've always felt that if Ibecame a girl all my confidence issues would vanish into thin air. If Ibecame a.
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