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‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful... ‘Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMARLittle RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!’The teacher replied, ‘Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.’Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ‘You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!’LITTLE RALPHY ON. He had to be content with the display of her flanks and breasts flogged with skillful strokes by the young woman determined to chase the devil from her every pore.This was the season for some major holidays for both the church and for the general populace. The celebrations went far beyond the simple need to honor mother church and often required displays of pre-religious pagan ceremonies that were centered on fertility or the success of annual crops.It was close to All Hallows Eve now and Sister Mildred felt a change in the air without even pausing to stare out her tiny cell window at the dark forest beyond the protective moat filled with stagnant water from the rainy season. She stripped down with infinite slowness in a trance of expectant fulfillment. She had no mirror to see her gleaming flanks waiting forlornly for the strokes from her measured blows.In the darkness of the darker than usual corner, a pair of ogling eyes drank in sensuous arousal of her frenzied march to the happy.
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