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"Okay, okay," the desperate boy pledged, "I won't do it again. Just make her stop and get me a doctor! She's killing me!"Christi hopped off Billy's lap. He looked down fearfully, obviously expecting to find his pride and joy reduced to shreds of red. Instead, it stood erect and proud, still pulsing from the extra stimulants Mommy had been secretly feeding him to fuel his frustration. "Hey, what gives," he blubbered in amazement and relief, "it felt like you had a knife stuck up there." Oh, no, Billy, I wouldn't do that." Christi held up a lubricant tube. "Its just Razor Blade Formula for Men. Now," she scolded, "you be a good boy or I'll use it again when you least expect it." Ding dong!" The door bell rang. Kathy ran to greet the new visitors."I hope we're not too late." Mrs. Potter smiled a sinister smile as she and her equally evil husband entered the room. The couple was resplendent in their finest black leathers and Kathy realized that Mrs. Potter's huge black strap on was an. "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!"Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert, shoulda bought a hat."The latest from the BBCMuslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut next month from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working.
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