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"It's funny," she says, "I've always wanted to make clothes for you,only..." Her voice tails off.I complete the sentence for her, smiling, "...only boys' clothes are soboring." She nods."But perhaps now," she says. "I'd like to make something specially foryou." I think I'd like that," I reply. She gives me another radiant smile.++++++That afternoon marks a watershed. Although nothing explicit is said, itis now understood between us that I find wearing a frock enjoyable andstimulating, and that Sunday afternoon is the special time when I am ableto do this. The bath followed by the change of clothes becomes a habit.And - as mother is now again busy with her sewing machine in the build-upto Christmas - there are new garments for me to try. My mother's line ofquestioning is now subtly different: "Look at this lovely dress I'vemade for Jenny," (one of Jacky's twin daughters), "would you like to tryit on?" The answer, of course, is always yes.On Christmas morning itself, there is,. ; Her old love for me and how it effected her thinking. She spoke about her love for her sister Jeanette, my wife, and how it clashed with her wish to take revenge because I loved Jeanette and not her. She spoke about the pleasure she felt while ruining other people's marriages., she She said that now after the therapy, she is going to try and locate those couples and families, and send them a letters with explanations and an apology... Tears started running down both our cheeks. She came close to me and pleaded "just hug me, please." and I did. For all those years I saw just one aspect of her behavior, and I never knew how much she actually suffered.Both of us sat there crying, her head on my chest, my arm around her shoulders, my other hand gently caressing her hair. She finished telling her story, and then went on:"You read my therapist's letter. You know that making love to me just once may close the door on this whole history. God, it's a 20 years history. I need this once just.
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