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Static electricity, circumstance. Again, loneliness. But not that. Then I feel his touch once again and I lose myself, drowning in his soul, always just beneath the surface, giving over all that I can, breaking my heart again, all just to feel his magic, his heart, one more time. I dream of his possession, the freedom of belonging to this person. And I whisper to him, ‘You are all that I am not, all that I was lacking.’ And he smiles. Because what I lack, he contains. Where I am weak, he is not. A power for a weakness, a give for a take. In his eyes, I see the truth. I know that there is doom and pain ahead, and still I inch my body toward his, aching for that poison. Aligning myself with him, tipping my head to look into his eyes, indeed his very soul, laying my hand on his chest, I know I’ve found home. I haven’t the right. I want to step back, to leave this man, this poet, for someone else to find, but I cannot. He is there, his heart beating steady against my hand, and I am not. ‘Is this what becomes of all marriages,’ she asked. Besides an initial attraction and an initial love, do two people woven together eventually use each other as love grows tired, lonely, and cold? She had been arranged to marry Queresh by her father. Is this what becomes of such an arrangement: bare knuckles across the cheek, a penis plunging in and out of her like a knife, cutting and slicing and robbing her of womanhood?Like the man, a woman also suffers from self-doubt which is more a crime of circumstance. She moved beyond self-doubt in her decision-making. She could see only so far, and instead of the maternal dream of having a home on some clear lake or cooking food for the father and her child, she was locked so suddenly into finding a decent job and an apartment. Sure she had ideas. She wanted to build a life with her son. Funny how dreams remain so simple, and yet to arrive at those dreams one has to cross streams of complexities, seas of conflict and confrontation, and.
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