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I had never questioned the path that had been laid out for me, and the college experience helped me realize how much more there was to life. I met a girl, who was very nice and comfortable to be with, but she knew who she was and where she was going in life, and I felt like a piece of clay with no form or direction. Though I felt a great desire for her, I had to pull myself away from her, fearful I would just give in to her life and never discover my true identity hidden within me.’ ‘My first true love, who I actually pictured myself marrying, was with me during my military service. She couldn’t deal with the physical distance, so ended up getting involved with another guy. This hit me very hard. I didn’t understand what was happening. She was very guarded about sharing her feelings, and I felt lost in the unknown. This experience helped me discover the importance of communication.’ I noticed Jayne was soaking in every word I shared. I didn’t feel her flinch or withdraw. If anything,. No, it wasn't ... pity. Not really. I suppose ... part of me felt a bit sorry for her..." Sounds like pity to me..." Maybe so ... but ... it was more than that ... I mean ... the way she looked at me ... there was a ... a hunger ... for me. I know it might have been any man who'd been kind to her in those moments, but right then ... it was me she looked at ... I was ... attracted to her ... and ... and when she made her needs clear, I ... I was very willing to join her that way ... I don't want to think of it as pity ... no, I don't like that word..." But ... when I looked at you ... when I wanted you," Kieu-Linh said quietly, "you made me wait..." Because ... You were different, Linh. For one thing ... you were ... young ... a virgin ... and ... unlike your mother, I knew ... I knew there was a chance that we ... might be more than just lovers ... I resisted it ... for a while. I told you I didn't want to risk being hurt again ... to risk loving you only to lose you ... and so ....
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