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October SeventeenthSaw Paul Moreno at the gym again today. He caught me looking at him, but all he did was hold eye contact until I was forced to look away. Jenny says he must be interested in me, but I can’t see why unless it has something to do with Bruce.When I got home, I did something I haven’t done in a while, I masturbated. I got a glass of wine and my silver bullet; then I leaned back against the headboard of the bed. I tried to let my fantasy run where it would, but it kept coming back to Paul, his hard-muscled body and his huge endowment. I tried not to think of him; it seems so disloyal to Bruce. It was just a harmless fantasy. I came so quick. There’s no harm in make-believe, right?November second.Voted today not that it makes any difference. I saw Paul again as I exited the polling place. He didn’t try to hide. He hadn’t been following me for a while, but the last few days he was back. He actually said hi to me. So, I stopped and spoke to him.“Are you back following me?”. I was going to make a few changes. One thing I was going to do is look for a paying job. Next time, if there was one, I'd be able to support myself and my kids. I also decided not to be so trustworthy of Steve. Trust would have to be earned all over again.I did tell him if it ever happened again that there would be no more second chances."Mary, believe me. It won't happen again." He went to kiss me but I turned my head. I told him I wasn't ready for that.Our first night in bed together I told him to not even try. He told me he could wait till I was ready. I really did want him but wasn't going to make it that easy for him.A week went by and Steve said he wanted to take me out for dinner. He had it all planned out and our kids were going to be staying at their friends house that night. We had a wonderful dinner, a few drinks and then did some dancing. I loved it when he held me close. I could feel myself kind of tingling inside. Needless to say we went home and made love that night.It.
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