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“I want to say after the accident, but I’m not certain that was necessarily true. Mom and Lilly both focused on me after I found out about the divorce. I just assumed that was because I was the only one that was in emotional distress over it, but now I don’t know. I don’t think we’ll ever know since one happened so close after the other. It’s an interesting distinction though.”“It is. It’s possible that they looked to you because you were the only male left in the household. It’s not that uncommon. Gender stereotypes are deeply ingrained. We’ve talked at length about your girlfriends and how you all gravitated toward each other. I think you can safely look to your attitude about secrets after the initial shock of the divorce. It’s a healthy attitude and it’s one that most people struggle with over their lifetimes. We’re complex beings. Our personalities are made up of many layers that often conflict. We all keep secrets without even trying. We understand that some things are. And I found that I knew nothing about him. And I found that it didn’t matter. His hands slid over my breasts, over my ribs, and down to my hips. His fingers were pushed into my mouth and I felt his finger prints on my tongue. And his hands, they cupped my breasts, which longed to be toyed and caressed. He pulled and pinched and twisted my nipples, all while I rode him. And I felt passion bubble up. And I felt heat from summer. I felt it all crawling around inside of me. It was the way his hair fell on my face. The shape of his jaw. The feel of his chest against my own. He was a heart beat and blood flow. It was the way his clothes always smelled of grass. And the last puff of a cigarette on his breath. And he knew my body before he knew me. And he knew exactly what I needed.On my back the stars witnessed the man I hardly know. How he unbuttoned me. Not just my shirt, or my pants, or my undergarments. He opened pieces of my soul. And every time his fingers slipped one of the buttons.
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