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I could see her hands were still shaking. I wondered if it was just her nerves or if it was some condition she had.Blankenship surprised her and me, too, when he reached out and touched her hand. It seemed to steady a little. “I’ll show you how,” he said softly. Then he went to the front of the room and turned to stare us down again. As far as I could tell he hadn’t really said anything positive about anyone’s drawing.“So, what makes you think you’re an artist?” he demanded. “Put your hands down. That was a rhetorical question. Look up the meaning. You undoubtedly all have mothers who still have your kindergarten scribbles tacked to the refrigerator. You’ve been told your drawings were good since the first time you stuck a crayon in an electrical outlet. Oh, you’re so talented, you should become an artist. Let me tell you exactly what all that means. Shit! You couldn’t run fast or play baseball or weren’t big enough for football, so you should be an artist. You weren’t pretty enough. Of course, my crush went nowhere. But, and that’s the important part, in my endless naivety and trust I told Sarah about it. At first, she was just the usual perfect older sister. Listened, gave advice, comforted me. I was happy for her support, happy to have an older, more experienced sister, who could help me navigate the sea of puberty with its unclear deeps and stay clear of its many cliffs.But there was also the now familiar discomfort, a growing suspicion in the back of my mind. A suspicion, only fuelled by the sobbing noises I could hear coming out of her room every night.And then, when I mustered all my courage, finally confessed to Jessica, and inevitably got turned down. As I was laying in bed myself, crying and crying over the loss of someone I could never have had from the beginning. It finally clicked.And I realised the truth.Sarah was in love with me.Furthermore.She always has been.It was hard to deal with this knowledge, and to keep it a secret. Confusing. Painful.
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