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“I think you are sexy.” “Look at yourself.” He said turning me around, facing the mirror. I was trying to hide my uncomfortableness. Most women would have loved to have a fine looking man kiss and touch their body. I, on the other hand, was so self-conscious. It was such a foreign concept to be told how beautiful I was; how sexy I was. Here I was, standing in a dressing room, butt ass naked with a man whose last name I didn’t know, but made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn’t think I was ugly or anything, but your self-esteem takes a hit when you see your husband out with another woman that looks better than you. Gabriel pulled the bench out, turned it long ways and motioned for me to sit. I sat down, wondering what he was going to do next. He moved my position, putting one leg on either side of the bench. I was somewhat spread wide open. He gripped my legs, putting them on this shoulders, pulling me to the edge. Once I was on the edge, Gabriel got on. You could walk right through them."I don't think this is about me right now. I did this for you." Iindicate my appearance. "To look like something you might want."His lingering gaze suggests that I may have been effective in that aim.At least in part."But it's certainly not something you want," he predicts. "I said Iwasn't going to rape you. This doesn't feel too far removed from that." But it's consensual. I'm letting you do this." It's begrudging. And so obvious in the way you say it. Not even: 'I'mwilling to have sex with you.' But more like: 'I won't resist allowingyou to ejaculate inside me.' And it's driven by pity."I cringe. He's probably not wrong about some of that. But he is wrongabout the most important part."It's not pity Kevin. I'm in no position to be deigning that. It'sempathy. I care about..... about what happens to you. And not becauseit's self serving. But because we are in the same boat. We're all eachother has." I look at him imploringly."And as to the rest," I.
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